Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Carrots Are Orange Laxatives!

I love snacking on baby carrots, but they should seriously warn people that eating a whole bag will result in some major colon blow. Sure it’s common sense, but they were sooo good. Crispy, sweet, and delicious. Probably the best bag of carrots I’ve had in a while. Dammit, there was nothing else light to snack on last night after I got back from my local drinking hole watching some playoff b-ball. In short, I’ve taken 3 dumps already today and it’s not even noon yet. The last was just after my 10am meeting. As each second passed, I had the countdown from "24? playing in my head knowing that even Jack Bauer can hold this shit back. I must’ve given the worst presentation ever today cuz I can’t even concentrate on what the hell I was talking about... and also trying to hold back my laughter. Urgh, longest hour. So my message to you all is don’t eat a whole bag of baby carrots unless you want to blow out your O-ring the next day. Man, it hurts just sitting here writing this.